Sunday, January 31, 2010

Deflated desserts and rank-breaking rodents

These are Smores Cupcakes, but you can refer to them as Bane Of My Existence Cakes:


This was taken right after they came out of the oven, and in approximately 60 seconds they collapsed from the inside out. We're talking completely hollowed out. I would have taken a picture, but I was too busy throwing a fit. (Turns out a hole in the middle of a cupcake is the perfect place for a marshmallow. Problem solved.)

This is a squirrel, but you can refer to him as Legion (for they are many).

 

The squirrels of Monroe County have decided that my roof is the prime location for them and all of their friends and family to congregate for the winter. Usually we keep our amicable distance, but today they crossed some irreversible lines and we are not on good terms. The first line: I got out of the shower this morning to find a squirrel screeching at the top of its lungs because it's head was stuck in the rafter. Nothing says good morning like a screaming squirrel. Line two: pictured above. Too close for comfort. Line three: as I was taking round two of B.O.M.E. cakes out of the oven I heard scratching. And then it got louder. And it was coming from my cupboards. And come to find out, the oversized rodents were trying to come inside through a crack in my ceiling. Irreversible line crossing. Squirrels of Monroe County: it's on.

Life on Orchard Street. Never a dull moment.

Friday, January 29, 2010

All the Ladies Say: Word

As I was looking through old emails yesterday, I found this forward from a friend. No need to strap me to a chair in a darkened room with a single lightbulb dangling from the ceiling...I'll just go ahead and confess: this is absolutely true! And I'm pretty sure all the women out there will agree. But what can we say? They don't call it comfort food for nothing.

The Coping Diet

Breakfast
1 grapefruit
1 slice whole wheat toast
1 cup skim milk

Lunch
1 small portion lean, steamed chicken
1 cup spinach
1 cup herbal tea
1 Hershey's kiss

Afternoon Snack
The rest of the Hershey kisses in the bag
1 tub of Hagen-Daaz ice cream with chocolate chips

Dinner
4 glasses of wine (red or white)
2 loaves garlic bread
1 family size supreme pizza
3 Snickers Bars

Late Night Snack
1 whole Sarah Lee cheesecake (eaten directly from the freezer)

Thursday, January 28, 2010

Holy Rosemary Rolls

If you need something good to happen today, make these Buttered Rosemary Rolls:



Made by none other than the Pioneer Woman herself (and me, last night), these rolls will positively impact your day...and your life. And they couldn't be easier to make. I'm already planning on going home during my lunch break today to warm up the rest of the rolls (read: the two that I didn't devour last night) and watch it snow. I'll be about two steps from heaven on cloud 1,009.

Wednesday, January 27, 2010

Hey Everybody

I realize that this commercial is extremely overplayed, but I crack up every single time I see it. I don't know if it's when the tongue comes out or the dancing starts, but somewhere in there I just lose it. And therefore, it goes on the "Things That Made Me Laugh Out Loud" list. Enjoy.

Monday, January 25, 2010

Be careful what you (don't) wish for

A surefire way to do something is to announce that you will never do it. Inevitably, life will bring you directly to the thing, and will probably laugh at you as you are in the midst of it.

Case in point:

Senior year of high school: "I am not going to Roberts Wesleyan College."
September 2004: Enrolled as a freshman at Roberts Wesleyan College.

Entire college career: "I will never be an admissions counselor."
August 2008: Began employment as an admissions counselor.

Last day of high school gym: "I will never run another day in my life."
January 25th, 2010: Registered for my first half-marathon, which will be run on my birthday.

Now I'm not sure if it's the relentless stubborn drive in me that hears these negative proclamations and decides to show them a thing or two or if it's just some messed up form of backwards karma or if it's God telling me not get ahead of him, but no matter the cause the results never vary.

And I've certainly learned my lesson, seeing as how I just paid a hefty registration fee to be allowed to run for miles on end in the early morning hours of my birthday. If pain and exhaustion at sunrise doesn't say birthday party, I don't know what does.

Sunday, January 24, 2010

Another day saved by cupcakes

Today I decided to make one of my favorite things in the entire world: apple cupcakes with cream cheese frosting. 



Because sometimes, the only thing that will take the sting out of a long week is a cupcake. Or three.

Don't judge.

Thursday, January 21, 2010

Well that's new.

So, this was a first:

1. Walked out of grocery store and found car.
2. Got in and put bags on passenger seat.
3. Put key in the ignition and turned...nothing.
4. Flipped the key around (still not sure why I thought that would change anything) and tried again...nothing.

My first instinct was to groan at the thought that my car was dead. An occurrence far from a first. My second instinct was to realize that the smokey smell, the leather portfolio on the passenger seat, the white labels behind the speedometer were all traits that are not descriptive of my car.

Yep. In someone else's identical white car. Two cars down from mine.

My overactive imagination had just enough time to picture the car's owner irately pounding on the window and me being taken away by police escort before I jumped out and into my real car.

A first, and a new low. Wow.

Wednesday, January 20, 2010

The fine line between bad day/good day is a cupcake

Chandler: "Phoebs, you may know this. You know strange things. What is the boiling point of brain?"

My day, in a nutshell.

And what does one do when one's day reflects the boiling of brain? One Googles Martha Stewart + cupcakes. And one finds this:


And one salivates. And falls in love. And sees the day through new eyes, eyes that only see decadent cakes and fluffy frosting.

And all is right in the world again.

Monday, January 18, 2010

A Few Assorted Thoughts

So over the long weekend I was away at a youth conference for work (note: if you've never been to a four day youth event for adolescents, you've never really lived). Since about a thousand things happened in between then and now, here's an abbreviated list of a few assorted thoughts on some of them:
  • On Thursday morning I opened my pantry and realized that I was in the midst of a coffee shortage. I don't know how it happened since I consume more coffee in a day than most people do in a week and consequently keep it readily stocked...and by readily stocked I'm talking fallout shelter proportions. The only coffee left to speak of was the sad remainders of two different bags: pumpkin spice and chocolate truffle. I did what I had to do. I mixed them. And learned that Pumpkin Spice Chocolate Truffle coffee is just as disgusting as it sounds.
  • When the people at the rental car office know you by first and last name, you know you travel for work too often.
  • When temperatures in the high 30's/low 40's feel tropical, you know you live in the Northeast.
  • As per aforementioned rental car office, they may be surprised when they see I put over 800 miles on their brand new car in one weekend.
  • As per aforementioned weather comment, somehow 23 years of my life have elapsed, most of them in the great arctic state of New York, and I have never owned a down coat, or even once worn one. Thanks to an enormous sale at Gap and a need to escape from frenzied teens, I went on a little shopping trip and found an incredible down coat on sale for $25!!! It is so warm, oh my word it is so warm. My valentine this year: the coat.
  • Other shopping escapades included visits to Just Plain Good (home to an excellent slogan, "Do what you love, love what you do") and the fabulous Putnam Market (home to the best turkey sandwich in the history of turkey sandwiches (cranberry mayo rocked my world) and lemon frosted ginger cookies (also world-rocking)).
  • Strange but true: I really missed typing during four days of limited computer access! Something about the methodical clicking of keys is oddly therapeutic for me, as is the assemblage of words in sentences. I never remember how much I love the combination until I go for a few days without it. As with all good things.
  • A shout-out from Post Grad: "What you do with your life is just one-half of the equation. More importantly, it's who you're with when you're doing it." Amen. 
P.S. As unyielding as I am to change, it was time to ditch the Christmas background in favor of something more multi-seasonal. Say hello to a new (and likely permanent) look!

    Wednesday, January 13, 2010

    LOL...for real.

    So as a result of the aforementioned benign stress that has weaseled its way into this week, I've decided to start a file on my computer named "Things That Made Me Laugh Out Loud." This list may come in handy on days in which I find myself not apt to laugh out loud unless reasonable cause presents itself. List = reasonable cause. The idea occurred to me while I was reading the following on timteblog.com, which did indeed make me laugh out loud:

    More from Smith about Tebow, from Tuesday night:
    I hope he has a great career in the NFL wherever it's at, whether we're a cat in this hat or somewhere else in the league. He's gonna be successful at anything he pursues in life.
    "Whether we're a cat in this hat" is one of the strangest phrasings you'll ever hear. It's certainly new to me. I'll take that as some kind of secret code for "Yes, we're drafting him."

    Whether it's the visual of the misspoken phrase, the Dr. Seuss references it conjures up, or my current state of exhaustion that made this quote so hilarious to me I know not. I do know that it had me cracking up for a good ten minutes.

    The very next thing I added to the list was the post with the Joe Cocker video, which still puts me into hysterics every time I watch it.

    I'm sure there will be plenty more additions to come in the near future, and I'll be sure to account for them here as well and label them under "Things That Made Me Laugh Out Loud" so that you all can enjoy them too. This will be fun.

    Reality Check

    This week I've been feeling more than a little overwhelmed, hence the blogosphere silence. But seeing the horror in Haiti puts everything into acute perspective. My temporary frustrations are nothing compared to the life-altering tragedy the people of Haiti are experiencing today and for many, many days to come.

    The Haiti Earthquake: Pictures of Devastation

    How indescribably sad. Abundant prayers are sent out to Haiti and the relief efforts headed their way.

    Sunday, January 10, 2010

    Go Pack Go

    You know what I love about being a sports fan? It's an exercise in loyalty. I could root for whichever team is on top in a given year and ride the wave of their victories. It might be fun to feel like a winner all the time. But I'd rather stick it out with my favorite team in the trenches and on the mountain tops, through mind-numbingly painful first quarters and exhilarating fourth quarter comebacks, even when it all results in an overtime loss and a brand new ulcer.

    Go Pack Go, for better or for worse.

    Thursday, January 7, 2010

    Home, home on the range


    I don't know what rock I've been living under, but somehow I missed the rise of Pioneer Woman into blogosphere super-stardom. This woman is AMAZING: Photographer, cook, mom of 4, and self-proclaimed "accidental country girl" who not only accomplishes all the above tasks brilliantly but with a healthy dose of wit and optimism.

    And her love story with her husband...OH MY WORD. Suffice it to say I've sacrificed every spare moment of my week and all semblance of appropriate sleeping/rising hours to devour her chronicles of their story (aptly named "From Black Heels to Tractor Wheels"). Now I am not one of those girls who swoons at chick flicks and popular romance novels. Far from it. But this story has elicited squeals and gasps and shouts of joy - and the best part of all is that it is purely, beautifully, completely real, not an ounce of fiction to be found. In a world polluted by scandals and infidelity it's so refreshing to know that real love stories still exist.

    In the words of the Pioneer Woman herself, "Grab a cup of coffee. Curl up with a blanket. Have a box of kleenex and a fan handy." Settle in to read an amazing account of real-life romance; you won't soon regret it.

    Tuesday, January 5, 2010

    I could sing of Your love forever

    Sometimes, when the day begins and the view from my window looks like this:

    And my breakfast looks like this:

    And the fresh-from-the-oven chocolate chip cookies my neighbor brought over look like this:


    I feel like God is saying, "Good morning!!! I created this day for you! And I can't wait to show you what's in store!" And that has to be the absolute best feeling in the world. What can surpass the love of the Father?

    Plug Fannie May into your GPS and set out on a roadtrip...you won't be disappointed.

    Thanks to the goodness of a coworker, I just experienced white-chocolate-flavored-heaven via the Fannie May White Russian Truffle, pictured front and center here:


    No doubt it went directly to my fannie, but let me tell you, it was absolutely worth it. I could wax poetic about this truffle for pages on end but will refrain, as words cannot do it justice. WOW, is all I can say. Wow. Thank you, Fannie May, for such a divine mid-afternoon treat.

    Sunday, January 3, 2010

    Consider my heart even warmer!

    2010, I'm impressed. The Gators game was as good as it gets - and an excellent Packers game to boot? Well I thought that was just too much to ask! The two wins this weekend have won me over, and we have surely started out on the right foot. Let's keep up the good work, shall we?

    Packers Dominate Cardinals 33-7 in Wild Card Preview

    Saturday, January 2, 2010

    Consider my heart warmed

    51-24 Gators? 533 total yards for Tebow? Could the Sugar Bowl have been any sweeter???

    Way to go, 2010. We are officially on good terms.